I'll explain how to use chopsticks—and share some quirky lore on what the way you hold your chopsticks says about you.
How to Use Chopsticks
Updated on Aug. 23, 2023
The last time I went to visit my parents, my mother thrust a packet of gold-trimmed chopsticks into my hands.
“Mom, why are you giving me these?” I asked. I learned how to use chopsticks when I was so young that I don’t remember a time when I didn’t know how to use them. My utensil drawer at home is already overflowing with chopsticks—and she knows this.
My mother adjusted her glasses and shrugged. “筷子 (Kuàizi) 快樂 (Kuàilè),” she replied, trying to sound nonchalant. She explained “chopsticks” and “happiness” sound alike in Mandarin and that she was merely wishing me happiness.
Having been her daughter for over 40 years now, I knew there was more to it. When I asked around, I was immediately informed that 筷子 (Kuàizi), or chopsticks, are gifted to couples to mean 快生孩子 (Kuài shēng háizi), which translates to “quickly have a child.”
Apparently, my sneaky parents yearned for more grandkids and used Chinese superstition to try and get their way. Shaking my head, I had to laugh. Dutifully, I flew home with chopsticks in my suitcase, even though we have no plans for more children.
The primary function of chopsticks—which has nothing to do with wished-for grandbabies—is of course as an eating utensil used by billions of people around the world. Invented in China around 1200 BCE, chopsticks are now used daily across many Asian countries, including Korea, Japan and Vietnam and in the Asian diaspora.
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How to Hold Chopsticks Correctly
Though videos of tiny tots using chopsticks like a pro garner millions of views on YouTube, learning chopsticks can be tricky for folks who didn’t grow up with them. Here’s a quick tutorial on how to use chopsticks:
Step 1: Hold one chopstick in your dominant hand like you’re holding a pencil, then slide the chopstick, if needed, so your hand is at about the half-way point.
Step 2: Without loosening your grip, straighten your middle, ring and pinky fingers, allowing the chopstick to rest on the nail of your ring finger, sandwiching it firmly in place with the pad of your middle finger.
Step 3: Angle the chopstick at about 45º. You should still have a firm grip.
Step 4: Lift your index finger and add the second chopstick in place, parallel to the other.
Step 5: Adjust the position of your thumb as needed so you are squeezing the top chopstick with your thumb and the underside of your index finger. (The upper joint of your thumb should still be holding the bottom chopstick in place.)
That’s it—you’re in position. The index finger is the one that you will move the most to control picking up those dumplings and noodles. You’ll need practice to control those finger muscles and joints, but you’ll get there! And if you deviate from the instructions above to find something else that works for you, there’s no wrong way to use chopsticks as long as you’re getting the food in your mouth relatively neatly. There are, however, cultural etiquette and taboos to keep in mind.
Chopstick Etiquette
- Do not stick chopsticks straight up in a bowl. This resembles the way incense is burned to honor the dead and is considered very bad luck.
- Don’t drum or play with chopsticks in any way. Chopsticks are not toys. These eating utensils are considered sacred as they are used on family altars.
- Don’t hold chopsticks above your head to drop food into your mouth. I don’t know if this was just my parents, but they absolutely lost it saying it was rude and vulgar if my brother and I ever did this as kids. (Note: Holding a bowl up to your mouth and using chopsticks to scoop food in is considered fine.)
- Don’t chew or suck on chopsticks. Just seems like bad manners, right?
- Don’t use personal chopsticks on shared plates. This one may seem obvious, but family-style meals should come with serving utensils—use those instead of personal chopsticks for communal dishes.
- Don’t point at people or gesture with chopsticks. This is considered rude. You wouldn’t do this with Western cutlery, so the same standard would apply for chopsticks.
- Don’t put chopsticks in your hair. Unless you want to look like Ariel combing her hair with a fork, putting eating utensils in hair is ill-advised.
Fun Lores About Chopsticks
These “facts” are not universally believed and are more like quirky sayings many folks grew up with, which vary by region and family.
- There is much contrasting lore about how high or low one holds chopsticks, such as:
- The further up one holds them, the further one will move away from their family when they grow up.
- The higher one holds chopsticks, the further away their future spouse currently resides from them.
- Holding chopsticks too close to the bottom may be a sign that they will get married too early in life.
- Some believe the higher one holds chopsticks, the wealthier they’ll become.
- Holding chopsticks too close to the bottom denotes an unhealthy attachment to their parents.
- If one’s thumb sticks out while holding chopsticks, they might be selfish.
- Couples sometimes give away chopsticks to guests at their wedding to symbolize a long-lasting pair (and probably that thing about having sons/children quickly).
The Best Chopsticks for Beginners
If you’d like more help, here are some products for beginners to set you up for success with chopsticks.
Training Chopsticks: Chopsticks with training rings help you learn where to position your fingers and can be ordered for left- or right-handed people.
Chopsticks for Kids: Training chopsticks for kids are also available in a wide variety of colors and designs for little hands.
Chopstick Helpers: This type of training chopsticks doesn’t have rings for your fingers but connects at the top, which might be helpful for arthritic hands or thicker fingers.
Once you master chopsticks, consider picking up a pair of extra-long ones for cooking. These are so useful for precise flipping and frying, they just might change your life in the kitchen!
Chinese Dinners to Help You Practice
Spicy Beef Stir FrySpice up your dinner rotation with our 30-minute beef stir fry recipe. Tender sirloin and crisp veggies meet a fiery coconut-lime sauce for a quick and delicious meal any night of the week.
Shrimp Fried RiceThis delectable shrimp fried rice is filled with color and taste that makes it vanish fast. Our family of four can't get enough of it. Bacon adds crispness and a hint of heartiness. Consider it when you need a different main dish or brunch item. —Sandra Thompson, White Hall, Arkansas
For more delicious dishes, check out these authentic Asian recipes.
Ginger-Cashew Chicken SaladI revamped an Asian-style chicken salad recipe to create this gingery, crunchy salad. Now it’s a huge success when I serve it at ladies luncheons. —Shelly Gramer, Long Beach, California
Be sure to check out our best Chinese chicken recipes, too.
Beef Lo MeinThis simple beef lo mein is easy to toss together with the veggies you have on hand. And since it uses spaghetti, you won't have to go searching for special noodles.
Also, check Pad see ew is a popular Thai takeout dish with saucy noodles and fresh vegetables. You’ll need to invest in some novel pantry ingredients, but then you’ll be making restaurant-style noodles in no time.
Cashew ChickenThis quick cashew chicken recipe is great as a weeknight timesaver that you won’t find yourself compromising on flavor. If you’ve never cooked with nuts before, prepare for a pleasant surprise. They really bring the best out of the chicken breast.
Pork Lettuce WrapsThese popular Vietnamese pork lettuce wraps are light and tasty, easy to make and filled to the brim with delicious flavor. Bonus: from start to finish they're ready to eat in well under 1 hour.
Ginger-Chutney Shrimp Stir-FryI made this recipe a lot when I was juggling college, work and a growing family. It tastes like you spent a lot of time making it, yet only takes minutes to pull together. —Sally Sibthorpe, Shelby Township, Michigan
Honey Chicken Stir-FryWho needs takeout when you've got this quick and delicious honey chicken stir-fry! Simple ingredients and a full-proof method mean dinner will be ready in a flash.
Chinese Pepper SteakThis Chinese pepper steak is the ideal stir-fry to make for dinner, served with tender beef and crisp vegetables on a bed of hot rice. Plus, it all comes together in less than 30 minutes!
Sweet Chili & Orange ChickenMy husband loves this simple sweet chili chicken dish so much he often requests it when he comes home from deployment. The sweet chili sauce adds just the right amount of heat to the bright citrusy sauce. —Jessica Eastman, Bremerton, Washington
Quick Ginger PorkMy husband and I are empty nesters. It was a challenge learning to cook for just two again, but recipes like this give us delicious scaled-down dinners. —Esther Johnson Danielson, Lawton, Pennsylvania
Asparagus Beef SauteI love filet mignon, but I'm not crazy about its price, so I came up with a recipe for more affordable beef tenderloin. Now I cook it once a week. My husband loves the leftovers, too. —Linda Flynn, Ellicott City, Maryland
Beef Orange Stir-FryThis dinner for two is loaded with lots of flavor and color. Red pepper flakes add a little kick to the orange beef sauce, and the tender veggies add a pop of color. — Taste of Home Test Kitchen
Pineapple Shrimp Stir-FryI came up with this recipe for a luau-themed party and served it with sliced papaya, mango and avocado. My family loved it! If you don't care for coconut, sprinkle it with chopped macadamia nuts instead. —Trisha Kruse, Eagle, Idaho
Easy Orange ChickenYou'll say goodbye to takeout and hello to homemade once you try this easy orange chicken recipe.
Speedy Salmon Stir-FrySalmon is a staple where I live, so I tried it in a stir-fry. My recipe has an orange glaze, but I like it with lime, too. —Joni Hilton, Rocklin, California
Asian Glazed Chicken ThighsEveryone goes for this super moist, garlicky chicken, including my fussy kids. For your holiday buffet or family gathering, serve it with rice or noodles. —Carole Lotito, Hillsdale, New Jersey
Chicken Stir-Fry with NoodlesStir-fry noodles on a cooking show caught my eye. I ran with the idea and loaded mine with veggies. Now it’s our favorite hurry-up meal. —Beverly Norris, Evanston, Wyoming
Mandarin Pork Stir-FryWhen my husband and I were dating, he told me he liked Asian food. I got a wok and discovered the joy of dishes like this pork stir-fry. —Laurie Martignon, Niagara, Wisconsin
Hoisin-Pineapple SalmonMy mouth waters when I think of this sweet and tangy glaze. It's a tropical treat at any time of year. —Naylet LaRochelle, Miami, Florida
Tropical Sweet and Spicy Pork TenderloinWhen we crave something sweet and spicy, pork tenderloin cooked with chipotle, barbecue sauce and pineapple really delivers. —Cynthia Gerken, Naples, Florida
Ginger Beef Stir-FryThis savory stir-fry showcases tender slices of beef, while colorful carrots add crunch. For devoted meat-and-potatoes fans, replace the rice with mashed potatoes. —Taste of Home Test Kitchen
Sweet and Sour BeefCraving sweet and sour beef but short on time? This easy homemade version features tender steak, crisp veggies and a sweet-and-tangy homemade sauce in 30 minutes.
Asian Lettuce WrapsThis recipe is as tasty as the lettuce wraps found in national restaurants, but it's healthier! — Linda Rowley, Richardson, Texas
Whole Grain Chow MeinMy kids are picky eaters, but teriyaki and hoisin sauces work wonders with them. They love the meatballs, and I swap the noodles for whole grain pasta. —Kelly Shippey, Orange, California
Quick Chicken & Broccoli Stir-FryThis Asian chicken and broccoli stir-fry is a household best bet. The spicy sauce works with chicken, seafood, pork or beef. Add whatever veggies you have on hand. —Kristin Rimkus, Snohomish, Washington
Pork Ramen NoodlesTurn basic instant ramen noodles into a full meal with this easy pork ramen noodles recipe. A very filling and yummy meal that's great for any night of the week.
Asparagus Beef Lo MeinThis springtime beef lo mein recipe is as easy as it gets. Ramen noodles make it extra fun. —Dottie Wanat, Modesto, California
Asian Chicken SaladOur Asian chicken salad transforms the classic American chicken salad into a vibrant, Asian-inspired dish in just 25 minutes, combining familiar flavors with exciting textures and tastes.
Shrimp Lettuce WrapsLettuce forms a crispy shell that's full of possibilities, depending on what's in your fridge. Swap shrimp for cooked chicken, pork or tofu. Mix in any veggies you want: carrots, broccoli, snow peas and chopped zucchini are all fantastic add-ins. —Taste of Home Test Kitchen
Firecracker Grilled SalmonLet this sensational firecracker salmon perk up dinner tonight. With a super flavorful glaze that kicks you right in the taste buds, this weeknight dish is anything but boring. —Melissa Rogers, Tuscaloosa, AL
Green Pepper SteakFor a delicious, fast meal, try this flavorful beef dinner loaded with tomatoes and peppers. What a perfect recipe to use garden vegetables of the season! —Emmalee Thomas, Laddonia, Missouri
Pineapple ChickenBreak out of a humdrum chicken dinner routine with this simple sweet pineapple chicken recipe.
Turkey Asparagus Stir-FryTwenty minutes is all you'll need to make this quick stir-fry. Lean turkey, asparagus and mushrooms make it super nutritious, too. —Darlene Kennedy, Galion, Ohio
Easy Sweet-and-Sour MeatballsThe already prepared meatballs make this a very easy and quick supper. You can use your own homemade meatballs or store-bought if you're in a pinch. —Ruth Andrewson, Leavenworth, Washington
Hoisin Turkey Lettuce WrapsI'm married to a marathon runner, which means dinners need to be healthy but flavor-packed. These low-carb wraps are quick and easy. He loves the health aspect, I love the taste! —Melissa Pelkey Hass, Waleska, Georgia
Fresh Spring RollsLearn how to make rice paper-wrapped spring rolls that are fresh, crunchy and delicious. It is easier than you think!
Discover the difference between egg rolls and spring rolls.
Easy Chicken Fried RiceAfter my first child was born, I needed meals that were satisfying and fast. This easy chicken fried rice is now part of our regular dinner rotation. — Alicia Gower, Auburn, New York
